Accepting

alas these of yours and mine and ours set free
the warmth and the closeness and the togetherness so intimate I leave
the grasping and the intertwining and the senses of belonging dispossessed
the interdependence and the vulnerability and the innocence and the affection turned to smoke
the wants and the haves and the ifs and the whys with all the lies rationalised
the coldness and the loneliness and the messiness of the madness made known
the ignorance and the negligence and the moments of reassurance let it go

setting it free
therefore I leave
dispossessing everything
seeing it turn to smoke
as I rationalised them
and making them known
then I let it go.

Alas, these of yours and mine and ours; set free.

Uncertainty

Strapping myself with safety belts.

I'm eating my fear, I'm wearing my courage.

Taking this leap-- 

boarding this plane-- 

climbing this mountain--

I don't know what I'm doing.

I don't know who I am.

I don't know who I'm becoming--

Wondering if I'm becoming like them.

They told me like this--

They told me like that--

I just nod my head--

let's get it over with, fast.

I don't know where I'm going.

I don't know where I am.

I don't know what they are saying--

I just choose to trust them.

I strap myself with safety belts.

Nothing to everything

I am in a daze.
I have lost my ways.
I am here yet I am not.
I look, people see but I don't.

The presence of my absence--
The emptiness of the full--
The loss of what I've gained.
I don't want to feel the pain.

How do I run?
How do I hide?
I don't care about pride.
I just want what was mine.

What should I do?
What should I give?
I will give all of my everything
to have what once was my nothing.

Losing it

they are hanging on thin threads at the tip of my fingers
one by one for every single one of my delicate fingers
they are about to bleed but the force is getting stronger and stronger
pulling them down yet my fingers hold onto them
slipping slowly, surely, shredding my skin

i am crying;
i am screaming;
i am losing;
i am disappearing;
without even realising it

i am here but i am not