Friday, July 20, 2018

Little did they know

At her,
They are looking
Some are even staring
Some steal glances
Some pretend they did not see
Some are trying hard not to look

It is unusual for them
It is uncomfortable for some
To some it is just for show
To some it is just sad
To some it is ridiculous
To some it is inspiring

But little did they know
As much as they are staring
As much as they are finding sense in it

She did not do it for them
She never did.


Life line

So there's this line, right?
It's black-- like really black black
And I keep thinking about it
Like what shape is it
Like it looks kinda thick
And it looks kinda long
And it looks kinda straight
But when I move a bit
It kinda looks thin
And maybe a bit short
And maybe a bit curvy
But then I move again
It looks a bit blue
Not like sky blue
But a new bruise kinda blue
And it looks kinda pretty
And I kinda wanna touch it
And I kinda wanna stretch it
And I kinda wanna make it like
Green or maybe orange or maybe yellow
But when I touch it I feel ticklish
And when I stroke it I feel feverish
And when I grab it I feel like choking
I don't like it hurting me
No I don't like the hurting
So I snatch it
And I squeeze it
And I stretch it
And I hit it
And I cut it in half.

Monday, May 9, 2016

Accepting

alas these of yours and mine and ours set free
the warmth and the closeness and the togetherness so intimate I leave
the grasping and the intertwining and the senses of belonging dispossessed
the interdependence and the vulnerability and the innocence and the affection turned to smoke
the wants and the haves and the ifs and the whys with all the lies rationalised
the coldness and the loneliness and the messiness of the madness made known
the ignorance and the negligence and the moments of reassurance let it go

setting it free
therefore I leave
dispossessing everything
seeing it turn to smoke
as I rationalised them
and making them known
then I let it go.

Alas, these of yours and mine and ours; set free.

Monday, May 2, 2016

Uncertainty

Strapping myself with safety belts.
I'm eating my fear, I'm wearing my courage.

Taking this leap-- 
boarding this plane-- 
climbing this mountain--

I don't know what I'm doing.
I don't know who I am.
I don't know who I'm becoming--
Wondering if I'm becoming like them.

They told me like this--
They told me like that--
I just nod my head--
let's get it over with, fast.

I don't know where I'm going.
I don't know where I am.
I don't know what they are saying--
I just choose to trust them.

I strap myself with safety belts.


Nothing to everything

I am in a daze.
I have lost my ways.
I am here yet I am not.
I look, people see but I don't.

The presence of my absence--
The emptiness of the full--
The loss of what I've gained.
I don't want to feel the pain.

How do I run?
How do I hide?
I don't care about pride.
I just want what was mine.

What should I do?
What should I give?
I will give all of my everything
to have what once was my nothing.